It is complicated

Man,as we all know (but who actually we? 😛 ) that i am blogging depends on my mood. And the very moment nobody seems available to become my “trash can”. And recently I remembered that I have an account in wordpress and since I got stuck in installing wordpress inside my laptop so let’s just continue using this account.

And for now i got a story. Not a really good story,just a story about how complicated human feeling is.
You know that I have a person who seems to be the most special for me,soon to be the one I marry (I hope ^_^ ). She was graduated in April this year,and since her parents not supporting her too much for staying in Bandung for too long she went back to Jakarta. For several months everything seems to be smooth,nothing bad happened,just as if we’re doing fine. But behind all those good pictures lies a big problem,starting to rise up. Even though we keep communicating through sms,sometimes via facebook message and also yahoo messenger. All those communications are just not enough to keep us as close as before. A distance has grown upon us,and a situation that would make everything worse has come to me. A person around me has started to shine and looked pretty. Well you know what people in Java says that from a habit love will arise. And that is what happened to me,because i keep meet her in campus I started to like her,well it was made certain after I saw her picture in facebook. She just looked very beauty. Now i trapped. I already have someone to hold but I also have a feeling for someone else.Fukkin stupid it is. Why should it happened? It just add another trouble in my life. And problem that related to human feeling is just tooooooooo complicated to solve.

Now come another stupidity from me, I realized that I like someone new and I don’t want to keep this a secret from the one I hold on to,but too bad it was a very very stupid decision. I told her that I like someone and her response is so surprising,she doesn’t seem to be jealous or something.Very plain. And after a few words she said that somehow she lose her feeling for me,it makes me sad to hear it and from that point I know that if people not keeping in touch by meeting each other face to face,their relationship soon will be just another part of history in their life. Nothing else.

After that I confused about which one should I choose,the first one or the second one?
The first said that she lost her feeling, I did say that I will chase after her once more but it seems harder for me to do it. Maybe I am not ready to do it again. If I choose the second one,wouldn’t I be known as a bad person?

Ah..so confusing.

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